Tag: approval

Saying “No”….is it that hard?

Is it So hard to say “No” ? If it is….why? If it is not….why often don’t we?

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I used to be someone, and rarely still am, who had a hard time to say “No”….to things, but mainly to people.

I came at a point that I thought “why can’t I just say No for once”? Is it such a hard thing to do? Is it selfish?

We all learn to be polite, to please other people in different kind of ways and even often we learned to do things we “must” do, even though we don’t really feel up to it.

Over the years I learned to listen more to my Self, and even it’s sometimes still hard to do what I feel and want, I made a huge progress in this. I still have moments that I don’t say No, even when I maybe should or want to….but I look now more to the situation and for who it’s for, not just for everything and everybody.

The point is, when we always say Yes to everybody and everything, people start to have expectations from us and actually we do this to ourselves, by always agreeing and saying Yes…..

The moment we start to say No, we might get some comments, pulling faced and attitudes from people….but, as soon as they realise you do what You want and not what you Don’t want, they will finally accept.

It gives a form of Freedom as you know for yourself, you don’t Have to. You don’t have to do anything that doesn’t feel right for You. And this is okay, it’s not selfish.

We, people, are So tight up by rules, what we “must” do, how we “should” do…..says who? Who’s making up these rules, who decides?

In the end…..it’s You who decides! You always have a choice, in anything.

Angelique ღ

 

Is receiving Approval and Recognition important for you?

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How important is it for you to receive Love, Approval and Recognition from others, like Family, Friends and Colleagues?
“When I’m not nice to them they will reject me, criticize me or even leave me”
 
How do you recognize this?
  • You might be scared and unsecure to be Rejected by others, this can mean your Family, Friends, Colleagues or other people who you know or who are close at heart
  • You are ambivalent about excisting Relationships, which can be your Love Relationship or common Relationships with others
  • Having the feeling you don’t Receive much or any Recognition
  • You are afraid for Criticism or to be Blamed for something
  • Being Jealous
  • You always like to add something on top of things like it’s never enough
  • Keep the peace for every price
  • Being afraid of what others might think or not think
  • Always tend to obey
  • Always meet deadlines
  • Always try to be Friendly
 
For example:
 
When you always say “Yes” while deep inside you rather would say “No” but otherwise you would feel guilty for saying No then you respond out of Rational Believe that you Always should be nice and kind.
 
 
So, how do you deal with this?
 
It’s very unrealistic to expect from you to make everyone  his way and always receive Love and Appreciation because of that.
The Most important person to receive Love from…..is You!
When people turn down your ideas you receive information about what doesn’t work and so you know how you can do better next time ;-).
Don’t take it too  much on board what people do or say. They all have their own Believes or Fears to deal with or to work on what makes them sometimes not be the nicest person at that moment.
 
It’s way more important what you Think and Feel about your own Ideas and Believes. It’s impossible to satisfy Everyone all the time.
It’s also a waste of Energy to try this as you will never be able to Achieve in this :-).
Of course, it’s always nice when you receive a nice feedback from Family, Friends or your Partner but when you strongly Believe in You, you don’t really need their Feedback as you are Mature enough to decide for Your Self and what is good for You.
 
Rise Up and Follow your Own Ideas!
 
Angelique ღ , Life Coach
www.angeliquemol.com
Twitter: @Coach_Angelique